he said
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7901359@N02/ CHECK THESE OUT...YOU HAVE TO CUT AND PASTE THE ADDRESS, I STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT THE BEST WAY TO SHOW PICTURES. WE MISS ALL OF YOU TERRIBLY ALREADY!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Out of the U.S.
He said
10/20-Live from Amanuca, Fiji
After nearly 24hours of relatively painless travel, we have settled in the Fijian island chain of the Mamanuca’s. Incredibly beautiful, around 20-30 miles off the mainland. It’s a bit surreal to finally be “on our adventure”. So much build-up, so many goodbyes, and many forms of drama led up to what was basically an uneventful journey across the pacific. Now that we arrived, we are faced with our usual dilemma: relaxing. So much frenetic energy spent to get to a place where the main focus becomes doing nothing. Or some version of nothing. Such a great feeling, but particularly for me will take some adjustment. It’s easy to blame this manic state on the fast past of life in the U.S. comparatively, but in reality it is obvious that the responsibility lies inward. Within the first two hours, Summer and I find ourselves struggling to sit still. The next two weeks will be nothing if not an exercise in mind control and the ability to let go. The amount of stimulation we subject ourselves to at home is functional for the pace, but is not something that provides a good backdrop for relaxation. It will be a welcome change to have no escape from nothing. Reading, writing, sleeping, and other often neglected activities are forced to take forefront as a result of lacking alternatives. No work, dogs, house work, movies, t.v. for distraction. The one change from previous trips with the same mission however, is the lack of anxiety associated with a “less stimulating” environment. Usually the anxiety caused by a lack of distraction act symbiotically and exacerbates the drive to move. But this time (and thus far), this seems easier to escape. Perhaps the months of preparation, or maybe the utter lack of alternative will force me/us to confront this and SLOW DOWN! These journal entries will hopefully serve as part of the treatment as well as evidence of the cure. Other evidence to watch for will be: a higher smile to frown ratio, increased beer consumption, a change in overall skin tone (from halibut to salmon in my case), and an increase in creative output. If these factors are steadily rising, then we can continue to toe the same line. Otherwise, adjustment will need to be made. I’m excited for the coming days and the lack of knowing what they will bring!
She said
Upon leaving for our trip I have been filled with so many emotions; excitement to fear, stomach sickening anxiety to pure elation.... leaving me bewildered, crying one minute, liberated the next. A nonsensical calm to a frenzy of nerves. I am leaving so much behind, halting a life that i have created and i love but one by one I let go-
one car sold, the second sold without a second thought, job successfully completed, house rented, student loans deferred, gym membership, cell phone contract cancelled, ties cut from a world demanding the ownership of material possessions, a life expected. i walk away without remorse and feel liberated. Who made these rules anyway?
But with liberation, sadness creeps in as goodbyes to loved ones are said.....nothing breaks your heart more. As i said my last goodbyes I am quickly reminded there isn’t much more to life then the people you love, hesitating I question the reason of wanting to leave? Why can I not settle? What provokes the need in me to explore? Why am I afraid of the mundane, why do I become depressed with the routine, will I always be this way? questions aside and with hopes of traveling for all the right reasons, my stomach bloated with nerves, Jesse and I board the Air Pacific 747 airplane that will be our vessel for the next 10 hours. Anticipating our cramped economy seats, our worries are quickly alleviated to find that our seats are in the emergency aisle and we have more leg room then first class! Coyly smiling at one another like we had planned it this way the whole time we gladly took our seats. Next we are given a bag of goodies from the steward..... not only a blanket and a pillow, but a toothbrush, toothpaste, an eye mask, and even socks.....this is definitely not an American airline! Before we know it, we are in the air. Dinner is served, and Jesse and I cheers to our first Fijian beer! As Jesse’s hoodie goes up and my eye mask down, our hands lock, and we pass out comfortably for the next 9 hours only to be awoken by the few bumpy patches in the sky. By far the best flight i have ever experienced! Upon exiting the plane my nerves are rapidly alleviated (stomach flat but ankles huge....serious CANKLE ALERT!) as a child-like giddiness consumes me. I breath in the Fijian air and am quickly reminded of why I love traveling. i am bombarded with all the new smells, sounds, and different faces dancing before me.....smiling up to Jesse I know we have made the right choice.
10/20-Live from Amanuca, Fiji
After nearly 24hours of relatively painless travel, we have settled in the Fijian island chain of the Mamanuca’s. Incredibly beautiful, around 20-30 miles off the mainland. It’s a bit surreal to finally be “on our adventure”. So much build-up, so many goodbyes, and many forms of drama led up to what was basically an uneventful journey across the pacific. Now that we arrived, we are faced with our usual dilemma: relaxing. So much frenetic energy spent to get to a place where the main focus becomes doing nothing. Or some version of nothing. Such a great feeling, but particularly for me will take some adjustment. It’s easy to blame this manic state on the fast past of life in the U.S. comparatively, but in reality it is obvious that the responsibility lies inward. Within the first two hours, Summer and I find ourselves struggling to sit still. The next two weeks will be nothing if not an exercise in mind control and the ability to let go. The amount of stimulation we subject ourselves to at home is functional for the pace, but is not something that provides a good backdrop for relaxation. It will be a welcome change to have no escape from nothing. Reading, writing, sleeping, and other often neglected activities are forced to take forefront as a result of lacking alternatives. No work, dogs, house work, movies, t.v. for distraction. The one change from previous trips with the same mission however, is the lack of anxiety associated with a “less stimulating” environment. Usually the anxiety caused by a lack of distraction act symbiotically and exacerbates the drive to move. But this time (and thus far), this seems easier to escape. Perhaps the months of preparation, or maybe the utter lack of alternative will force me/us to confront this and SLOW DOWN! These journal entries will hopefully serve as part of the treatment as well as evidence of the cure. Other evidence to watch for will be: a higher smile to frown ratio, increased beer consumption, a change in overall skin tone (from halibut to salmon in my case), and an increase in creative output. If these factors are steadily rising, then we can continue to toe the same line. Otherwise, adjustment will need to be made. I’m excited for the coming days and the lack of knowing what they will bring!
She said
Upon leaving for our trip I have been filled with so many emotions; excitement to fear, stomach sickening anxiety to pure elation.... leaving me bewildered, crying one minute, liberated the next. A nonsensical calm to a frenzy of nerves. I am leaving so much behind, halting a life that i have created and i love but one by one I let go-
one car sold, the second sold without a second thought, job successfully completed, house rented, student loans deferred, gym membership, cell phone contract cancelled, ties cut from a world demanding the ownership of material possessions, a life expected. i walk away without remorse and feel liberated. Who made these rules anyway?
But with liberation, sadness creeps in as goodbyes to loved ones are said.....nothing breaks your heart more. As i said my last goodbyes I am quickly reminded there isn’t much more to life then the people you love, hesitating I question the reason of wanting to leave? Why can I not settle? What provokes the need in me to explore? Why am I afraid of the mundane, why do I become depressed with the routine, will I always be this way? questions aside and with hopes of traveling for all the right reasons, my stomach bloated with nerves, Jesse and I board the Air Pacific 747 airplane that will be our vessel for the next 10 hours. Anticipating our cramped economy seats, our worries are quickly alleviated to find that our seats are in the emergency aisle and we have more leg room then first class! Coyly smiling at one another like we had planned it this way the whole time we gladly took our seats. Next we are given a bag of goodies from the steward..... not only a blanket and a pillow, but a toothbrush, toothpaste, an eye mask, and even socks.....this is definitely not an American airline! Before we know it, we are in the air. Dinner is served, and Jesse and I cheers to our first Fijian beer! As Jesse’s hoodie goes up and my eye mask down, our hands lock, and we pass out comfortably for the next 9 hours only to be awoken by the few bumpy patches in the sky. By far the best flight i have ever experienced! Upon exiting the plane my nerves are rapidly alleviated (stomach flat but ankles huge....serious CANKLE ALERT!) as a child-like giddiness consumes me. I breath in the Fijian air and am quickly reminded of why I love traveling. i am bombarded with all the new smells, sounds, and different faces dancing before me.....smiling up to Jesse I know we have made the right choice.
The first of many...
he said...
10/03/2009
Two weeks until we set off on a year long adventure. Last night we celebrated our going away as well as my 31st birthday. The anti-climatic nature of a meaningless age was superseded by a very bitter sweet goodbye. Painful though it can be, it was so great to see so many great people gathered to help us take the leap into the unknown. Too many milestones at once overwhelm me. I am filled with many different emotions that get in each others way as they fight for my mind.
I am predictably excited...excited for a new place, excited for a different view, and excited to grow into the next stage of my life. After the excitement recedes some form of fear will begin its insidious creep. It lacks focus but needs none to reap its damages. Unfocused, anxious...these are the marks left shortly behind. I know when these take hold there is some underlying fear that I’m struggling with. That’s how I feel now. I try to avoid these thoughts as they are generally non-productive but it does seem the things I work hardest to keep out are the easiest to access and fall back upon. How will we get along? Am I doing this for the right reasons? Will money be an issue? The reassuring side of my being quickly and unhesitatingly affirms “It will all be fine, it will all work out”. But this is only said until it doesn’t work out. This part I hasten to move past because again it does nothing.
I can’t wait to adjust to a new pace of life. Wether due to exploring a new country, a change in occupation (or lack there of), or some still unidentified direction that will guide us, I anxiously await this fateful turn. I have such strong urge to escape my “routine”. Even those of us who say we hate routine still relish in our own supposed lack; even if they amount to repetitive behaviors to escape a routine. Change a job, go on a trip. I want to make sure these are steps in a positive direction and not just a new one. At what point will I feel ready to “settle down”? Does this have to be something I dread? Do I have to become less interesting/interested as part of this process? The part of me that is so committed to apathy or laziness wonders if doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing. Maybe instead of avoiding routine, it’s more about searching for inspiration.
10/03/2009
Two weeks until we set off on a year long adventure. Last night we celebrated our going away as well as my 31st birthday. The anti-climatic nature of a meaningless age was superseded by a very bitter sweet goodbye. Painful though it can be, it was so great to see so many great people gathered to help us take the leap into the unknown. Too many milestones at once overwhelm me. I am filled with many different emotions that get in each others way as they fight for my mind.
I am predictably excited...excited for a new place, excited for a different view, and excited to grow into the next stage of my life. After the excitement recedes some form of fear will begin its insidious creep. It lacks focus but needs none to reap its damages. Unfocused, anxious...these are the marks left shortly behind. I know when these take hold there is some underlying fear that I’m struggling with. That’s how I feel now. I try to avoid these thoughts as they are generally non-productive but it does seem the things I work hardest to keep out are the easiest to access and fall back upon. How will we get along? Am I doing this for the right reasons? Will money be an issue? The reassuring side of my being quickly and unhesitatingly affirms “It will all be fine, it will all work out”. But this is only said until it doesn’t work out. This part I hasten to move past because again it does nothing.
I can’t wait to adjust to a new pace of life. Wether due to exploring a new country, a change in occupation (or lack there of), or some still unidentified direction that will guide us, I anxiously await this fateful turn. I have such strong urge to escape my “routine”. Even those of us who say we hate routine still relish in our own supposed lack; even if they amount to repetitive behaviors to escape a routine. Change a job, go on a trip. I want to make sure these are steps in a positive direction and not just a new one. At what point will I feel ready to “settle down”? Does this have to be something I dread? Do I have to become less interesting/interested as part of this process? The part of me that is so committed to apathy or laziness wonders if doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing. Maybe instead of avoiding routine, it’s more about searching for inspiration.
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